Utah and Feeling Inadequate

A while back I made mention of what I thought an awesome road trip would be. Fly into Phoenix and drive north through Arizona, Utah, Wyoming and into Montana. Then turn around and go back. I still think that would be awesome, but as of this morning, I decided to make Utah my next targeted vacation. Specifically, southern Utah, which is home to vistas like this.

There are five national parks in southern Utah that are waiting to be seen by me. Fun fact about me: It's very easy to get my excited about nature. Not so easy to get me excited about spending the night with nature. I think that I got detered when going to the bathroom involved putting on shoes and grabbing a flashlight in order to stumble to a tree.

Now onto that feeling of inadequacy. Some of you may know that this fall I'm playing in an orchestra. There's a first time for everything, and this is my first time playing in an orchestral environment. It's challenging, let me tell you. I'm trying to follow along in the music and I get lost (as a percussionist, I don't play every note, but I have to keep track so I know when my part comes). I don't get lost as frequently now, but I still get lost. I also feel like the skills of others, on their respective instruments, are better than my skills. Last night I wondered to myself "What am I doing here?" (as I missed my note). I am somewhat consoled by the fact that I cannot be fired, and that they are just happy to have a percussionist. And the fact that this experience is stretching me.