Ask Amy

Amy Dickinson writes a weekly (perhaps even daily) advice column entitled "Ask Amy." The column deals with matters of relationships. Please read today's column:

Dear Amy:

Two years ago, I started an affair with a married man in my office. I never thought of doing such a thing. Everyone in our office thought the world of him and his wife, and thought what a wonderful husband and father he was and how lucky his wife was to have him.

I flirted with him, and occasionally we would go out in a group. One evening he had a bit to drink and the next thing I knew he was confessing to boredom and dissatisfaction with his wife and his life. Well, I didn't think twice and we were involved in a full-fledged affair. He decided to leave his wife. She was devastated and fought to keep him, but we were so in love that she didn't stand a chance. She finally gave up.

His three children barely speak to him. We are engaged to be married and everything has been great, in spite of his estrangement from his children and the fact that his wife made out quite well in the divorce

Okay, that's all questionable enough. But you think that's bad? Read the rest of the letter:

Unfortunately, now he is sick and has been diagnosed with lung cancer. I have had to take care of him, and it's exhausting. No one in his family is willing to step up to help me take care of him. His children refuse to talk to me.

The truth is, I don't want to take care of him. I thought it was going to be different -- that it would be fun and I'd have someone to take care of me.

I still love him and all that, but, honestly, I don't want to nurse him and watch him die.

We aren't married yet -- just engaged. I want to break it off, but I hate leaving him with no one. What should I do?

I'm not going to include Amy's response here, but I think this is a sad example of how today's culture defines love and marriage. Namely that it's neat and fun when convenient, and a burden when it's not.